| Howard Orlick
|
Born: Brooklyn, NY
Current residence: Brooklyn, NY
Client: Since 1996
Volunteer: 2 years
"Some of my [volunteer] experiences have absolutely
blown me away." |
What was your situation like when you came to GMHC?
In 1987 I tested positive, but from 1987 to 1995 I sort of went
on with my life as usual — not really focusing on HIV at all, continuing
to work and just going to doctors monthly. In 1995, I had some
pretty big disasters in my life. My dad died, and my partner passed
away a month after that. I basically stopped working, and I was
sort of lost. I didn’t know anyone that was in the same situation
I was in, and didn’t know what to do or where to turn.
What were you looking for when you came to GMHC?
When I actually became a client, it was really just to connect.
Prior to actually registering as a client, I had used Legal Services
and I was also a member of a caregivers support group and a bereavement
support group.
GMHC had been particularly helpful in a few instances. My partner,
Peter, got very sick very quickly. We had done wills and living
wills and powers of attorney, but when he got very sick, the wills
were not executed yet. So I called the volunteer who did the wills,
and I told him what was going on, and he just said, ‘Can you get
three people to the hospital?’ And I did, and he came with the
documents and he executed them in the hospital. If he hadn’t done
that when he did that, as quickly as he did that, the documents
just never would have been signed. So that’s a situation where
the organization did something very valuable for me.
The caregivers support group was also very important. Peter was
extremely sick and dying, with 24-hour home care; he had dementia
and didn’t really know where he was. And I was going to this caregivers
group because I was losing my mind. At the end of one of the group
sessions, I talked to one of the facilitators and told him what
was going on. I said, ‘It sounds terrible, but he just won’t die.’
And the facilitator said to me, ‘Sometimes they need to know that
it’s OK, that you’ll be OK if they die, that you’ll be able to survive
and go on.’ So I went home, and I said, ‘You know, Peter, it’s
OK to let go, I will be OK. I’m going to make it.’ And he died
the next morning.
What are some of the other services and programs that you
have used here?
I’ve used Legal Services for wills and living wills and power of
attorney, as well as the Meals Program and the Theatre Desk, and
the Nutrition and Wellness Programs. I am currently in a support
group for people living with HIV and visual impairment. In fact,
that is where I met my current partner. And I also volunteer in
the Community Education program.
Did you find the support you were looking for at GMHC?
Absolutely. And that’s part of the reason that I am now giving
back to the organization. I really thought I was the only person
living with HIV and going through what I was going through. Then
I started coming here for lunch. This gave me the opportunity to
get out of the house at least a couple of days a week instead of
sitting home alone. I needed to be with people who were dealing
with HIV and AIDS and understood what I was going through. I could
do that at GMHC.
Can you tell us more about your volunteer work?
I go into different areas — mainly high schools — and talk about
living with HIV and AIDS. Some of my experiences have absolutely
blown me away. I went to talk to a pretty rough set of high school
students, and I just walked in there and said, ‘I’m a gay man living
with AIDS.’ And the room went quiet. I was asking them what some
of their questions are, and I got some really intelligent, insightful
questions from them. A girl raised her hand in the middle of my
presentation, and she said, ‘I have a question.’ And I said, ‘Yes,
what is it?’ She said, ‘I don’t even know how to ask this.’ And
I said, ‘Just ask it.’ She said, ‘Isn’t this really hard for you
to do?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, it’s very difficult for me to talk about
these issues.’ And she said, ‘So why are you doing it?’ And I
said, ‘I’m doing it for you. I’m doing it with the hope that I
can prevent one of you from becoming infected, or get one of you
that is infected to get tested, or get one of you who has tested
positive to get treatment. Then my job is successful.’ And she
just got it. The light bulb went on in her head and she just got
it. And it was the most incredible experience of my life.
What do you with your spare time?
I volunteer, I go to the gym, I come here, and I spend a lot of
time going to doctors. I also like to travel.
June 10, 2003
© 2003 Gay Men's Health Crisis
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