| Ask GMHC
I'm feeling anxious about an experience at a massage parlor.
Question
Hello there,
I desperately need some advice. Last week I did something stupid,
I got a massage from a place a friend of mine told me about. At
the end of the massage I got a hand job until orgasm. I was enjoying
it but I was worried at the same time because she touched herself
with the same hand she used on my penis. I kept my underwear on
the whole time but at one point she was nude and on top of me and
was rubbing against me. She was pretty gentle and there weren't
any cuts or abrasions on my penis before or after we were done.
So based on what I have told you, am I at risk of getting HIV?
I have a family to consider, so if you could get back to me right
away that'd be great, I am going crazy with anxiety.
Thank you in advance.
Answer
From what you wrote in your email, I can tell this encounter has
made you very anxious. Let me address your concerns one by one.
Since it's not clear how much you know about HIV
transmission, let's start with some basics: HIV can be passed
on when certain bodily fluids (blood, semen, vaginal fluids and
breast milk) from an infected person get into the blood stream
of another person. Sexual transmission could occur through a mucous
membrane (such as the anus or vagina, or to a lesser extent the
mouth or the opening at tip of your penis), or direct blood-to-blood
contact such as sharing needles with someone.
Based on what you wrote, it sounds very unlikely that you could
have been exposed. Unbroken skin is a barrier to the virus. If
you partner was infected and had vaginal fluids on her hand (and
it sounds unclear if she did or how much), they would have to get
in through the urethra since there were no cuts or abrasions on
your penis. Likewise, her being on top of you with your underwear
on wouldn't allow for vaginal fluids to get into your body in a
way that could casue infection.
Based on this information, how do you feel about what happened?
It sounds like you feel some regret or guilt. You mention having
a family and that may be playing a part in your feeling so anxious.
Although the scenario you described is not a way that HIV is passed
on, you may still want to talk to someone about it. One option
is to call our Hotline to speak to someone or to find out about
your support options. You can reach us at 800-243-7692.
Take care,
The GMHC Hotline
Questions or concerns? Email us at hotline@gmhc.org.
For more information, visit our Hotline.
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