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  HIV/AIDS & Health > Gay Men > Beyond Condoms

Beyond Condoms: Let's Talk about It

 

Sex involves more than slogans, and staying safe from HIV is more complicated than just saying, "use a condom every time." Effective HIV prevention helps men, both HIV positive and HIV negative, think through the values we attach to our specific sexual practices and relationships, as well as the risks and supports efforts to form realistic and individualized harm reduction strategies. Rather than wishing away the idea that anyone could have unprotected anal sex, for example, this means helping men describe in vivid detail both the pleasure and the risks of that kind of interaction. Who was your partner? What was happening between you, both on the verbal and non-verbal level. Where were you (the environment in which a sexual encounter takes place often shapes its choreography).

Becoming conscious of these details of thought, emotion and action can make the difference between transmission of a deadly virus or a sexual union between two men in which no virus passes. Among the important issues men at GMHC have found it important to talk about:

  • What assumptions about other people, or ourselves and our HIV testing history, are we making when we say we know our own or our partner's HIV status? What does such knowledge "look like" and how are we coming to decisions based on it?
  • What factors are leading us to decide to be on the bottom with someone whose HIV status we don't know? Is this happening in the context of committed relationships? Anonymous sex? Are there patterns to what kinds of feelings or events precede such sexual intercourse?
  • What are the different meanings of "risk for HIV transmission" for men who are positive and men who are negative?
  • What is the complex and variable relationship between drug use and risky sex? Are people having risky anal sex because they're high, or getting high because they want to have risky sex?

Want to talk about it?

GMHC's calendar of workshops includes many for men, both positive and negative, to move beyond slogans and get down to the difficult and rewarding work of coming to consciousness. For more information, call about GMHC's HIV Prevention programs for gay men at 212/367-1353.

 

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